The Eternal Question: Why can’t Pluto talk, if he and Goofy are both Dogs?

As we age, we can’t help asking life’s biggest questions. Why are we here? what’s the meaning of life? how old is the universe? but most of all, why on earth can’t Pluto talk if he and Goofy are both dogs?

We don’t have an answer for the first three questions, but we dug up some explanations for the Goofy/Pluto dilemma (or at least as close to an explanation as we’re ever gonna get).

I bet you read this in their voices. 

But first a brief history. Pluto predates Goofy by two years, having been introduced in the 1930’s short The Chain Gang. In it, Mickey was a convict who escaped prison during a riot in which the security officers opened fire upon the prisoners (yeah, that’s right, Mickey has been around the block). Pluto was a bloodhound used in tracking Mickey down.

He later appeared as Minnie’s pet “Rover” in The Picnic, where they cheerfully showed off some…questionable…pet-owner antics.

His first nameless appearance in 1930! 

…and not a single rat’s ass was given that day (1930). 

So yeah, this happened (1930). 

Goofy showed up in 1932 during Mickey’s Revue, where Pluto finally had his rightful place as Mickey’s Pluto-named pet. Goofy was an audience member who chewed peanuts loudly and laughed in his usual Goofy-ish way, angering nearby spectators.

It’s unclear whether they expected Goofy (named Dippy Dog at the time) to take off the way he did later on, but there’s no way that laugh couldn’t go down in history as one of the funniest laughs ever.

Is it just me…or did Goofy age backward? (1934)

Returning to the mystery at hand, the internet has supplied us with many fan theories (as the internet so often does) and among the most prevalent ideas is the disturbing notion that Goofy is a regular, human-like character (along with Mickey and Donald) whereas Pluto is a mentally-handicapped being that Mickey keeps on a leash, taking advantage of his disability.

How about that for a plot twist?

 However, here at ScreenPlayas, we believe that growing up doesn’t always have to be so depressing, so I investigated further.

A more reasonable one is that this universe is populated by funny animals and animal animals. Funny animal is a term used for an anthropomorphic animal who represents (or stands in the place of) humans, whereas animals are…well, animals.

We know that Pluto only walks and acts the way a normal dog would, chasing squirrels while barking madly (fun-fact: Pluto actually did speak once, but that’s a topic for another time).

Goofy on the other hand, we know that he displays some of the most human-like tendencies out of all the characters.

Because…Mondays.

In the case of a dog, a funny animal dog is referred to as a “dawg.”  So the difference between Pluto vs Goofy is the difference between dog vs dawg. Though the difference can get blurred when you consider the amount of talking vs non-talking dogs and dawgs across the geekosphere.

For example, Brian Griffin in Family Guy is a pretentious novelist with an exquisite vocabulary, but he doesn’t wear clothes (unless he’s on a date or cocktail party).

Where would that fit compared to Snoopy, who doesn’t talk but walks on two legs? For a better understanding, we must consult The Official Overthinking it Chart of Dogness (aren’t you glad the Internet exists?).  

Bonus points for including Ein, one of the most overlooked dogs in the history of dogdom.

This chart was expertly crafted by Shana Mlawski over at overthinkingit.com, a site known for…um…overthinking stuff. In this case, she used it to better clarify the difference between another confusing dog-duo, Scooby Doo and Scrappy Doo, by breaking down the differences in behaviors of variously animated dogs. Her illuminating article on this topic is available here. Goofy and Pluto find themselves on completely opposite ends of this scale, which can only mean one thing:

Within the context of this crazy cartoon world, some members of society are evolved to be like humans while others have remained as pets, walking naked on four legs and communicating through sounds and expression. In other words, if humans evolved from apes, then would it be any weirder for some of us to have a monkey as a pet than it would be for Goofy to have a dog as a pet?

At the end of the day, Disney executives may have created Goofy and Pluto separately and among many others, without expecting them to ultimately become members of the sensational six (Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Pluto & Goofy).

There were other characters who were prominently featured in the early days of Disney, like Horace Horsecollar and Clarabelle Cow, both of whom bear a small resemblance to Goofy and are still around today. Neither have quite reached the same level of stardom as Goofy.

Goofy and Pluto have unique qualities that endeared them each with the Disney fanbase, and so Disney may simply have found itself with two different but equally beloved dogs within the sensational six.

Now that we can finally sleep better at night with some clarity on the Goofy/Pluto dilemma, we can allow ourselves to shift our attention onto the bigger mysteries of the universe…such as what on earth are these things?

By: Michael Gonzalez